I found the last known cache of Starbuck’s Chocolate Mocha Truffles. I bought everything the store had.

To find these rare, soon-to-be-extinct chocolates, I obtained the product UPC code from Walmart’s website. Even though the product is discontinued, the code was still there. I did a search by zip code in an ever-expanding radius.

To make a long story short, there was only one particular search combination that gave me a “hit” within a few hundred miles. Fortunately, the hit wasn’t all that far away.

I had to brave the Flatlands, on a cold, dark night, traveling on treacherous roads….thanks to Mapquest, and it’s needless “shortcut” across a strip of ice in the middle of a cornfield. If that was a road, you coulda fooled me. But it was worth it.

I grabbed every last box from the store shelf. MINE!! They’re all MINE!! MUAHAHAHA!!

And now, they’re MaryAnne’s.

Sweet victory.

I have a quest.

There is a rare item I must find. With it, I may be able to appease the heartbreak of my cousin.

There are few things MaryAnne adores as much as chocolate. If chocolate were a controlled substance, she’d be on the Most Wanted list. I always knew this.

But lo, to find that a favorite chocolate is no more? And here she is, all unhappy? Can I simply shrug and tell her to accept that these chocolate mocha truffles are extinct and to move on?

No. Because it’s not fair. She didn’t know they were being discontinued, and therefore, had no chance to hoard the diminishing supply.

My quest has begun. I’ve got a couple of leads. It could be false hope, as the product is truly discontinued. But I will try.

Because damn it all, I understand. I was a big fan of “Pepsi Throwback” which was an unfortunate name for a great soda. Pepsi made with real sugar, not corn syrup. It was out for awhile this last summer. I knew it was “for a limited time only.” And I hoarded it. Yeah, soon it’ll be gone forever, when I drink the last can, but I had time to prepare for this loss emotionally and mentally, and in the meantime, I’ve got a few more 12-packs left to comfort myself with.

MaryAnne deserves to have time to say goodbye to her favorite chocolate candy.

I won’t use ebay, as concern for food purity is everything here, this is going to my kin.

Fortunately, I’m a fairly clever cuss when it comes to quests.

Not that this one is easy.

Will MaryAnne’s Christmas be merry and Starbuck’s chocolate mocha truffled?

Or will I have to offer some meek substitute and hope she likes it?

We got about 2 weeks to find out. I’d better get a move on.