A tribute to nature’s most potent combination.  Well, actually that would be “Beer and Sex”  to put things in the right order, but “Sex and Beer” makes a much better song.  So here ya go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-lJnBYfiD0

Inspiring, ain’t it!  

Or, What’s Worth Avoiding when buying your first home.

Off and on for the past…oh, my entire life, I’ve been looking to buy a house.  Part of my motive is investment, and to enjoy the tax advantages that go along with home ownership. Most of all, I’d like to have a place of my own in the country, so I could clutter it up with junk cars, and countless stray animals. Yeehaaw.   

I know more about real estate and mortgages than I’ll bore ya with here.  My main challenge, is my income level is less than desired for the kind of property I’d like.  Plus my credit sucks.  So, I’m usually looking at run-down nightmares out in the boonies.  Trouble is, these properties are still getting gobbled up at a rapid clip by urbanites who want the same thing I do:  breathing room.   Whatever the headlines say about a real estate slowdown, it’s not happening in my area. Hence, I’m losing hope that I’ll ever acheive this goal.

I find some properties that are promising, only to find them too late; most are already taken by buyers with more money and faster feet. I find others that are so far gone, that they’re unlivable and unfinance-able.  A few others languish on the market with “issues” that require due investigation and great caution.  These, are what I have left to pick from. 

I think I’ve finally found something so bad, it’s irresistable.

I went to look at this old brick farmhouse a couple weekends ago.  The conversation with the Realtor started like this:

“I have to warn you. The furnace died, and the pipes froze and broke. The water main is shut off and so is the electricity. There was four feet of standing water in the basement. They got it cleaned up, but there’s no heat and no electric yet.”

Gah, I thought.  But I merely quipped back, “I’m glad I picked a balmy 20-degree day to look at it, then.”

The house was the expected train wreck in some aspects. Outdated, cold, stark.  Out-of-compliance electrical fixtures. A kitchen that pretty much need to have the cabinets tore out. Mold in a room where the careless hookup of a washing machine and dryer caused damage. 

I liked it.

This place was huge. Massive. It’s a brick fortress sitting on three acres.  It’s solid, and it wasn’t difficult to picture the elegance it had in yesteryear.  The hardwood floors were in decent shape. The walls were straight. The foundation, from what I could tell with a flashlight, looked good. 

Alas, it has more problems. 

An old county dump sits behind the property.  It was capped off several years ago, and is no longer used, and to the unwary simply looks like a nice grassy hill.  But a soil and water test would certainly be a wise move. 

Then, there’s the highway bypass that the county is considering. If approved, one of the plans would take it right through the living room.  The other, splits apart the back acerage, carving a two-lane niche between the house and the scenic landfill. 

I might buy it.  It’s refreshing to have all the problems right out in the open. 

Been awhile since I posted to this thing.  And now I’m remembering why.  I’ve f’d up this blog more times than I can count trying to align a picture, and then edit someting so my right margin wasn’t all screwed up, and…. ARRRGH!!

I haven’t been real patient with myself lately, but here’s to fresh starts.